How is it that you interact with God? What is it like?
How do you experience him? Or do you just learn about him?
I have been exploring these questions lately. I've sort of come to the conclusion that I don't really experience or interact with God. In fact I'm rather scared of and intimidated by him.
Yes, God, I am intimidated by you. I'm sorry.
And I don't think I should be. I don't have a good reason.
One of my explanations, to try make sense to myself of why I feel this way, is that I don't really understand God. I know it's impossible for anyone to entirely "understand" God. But what bothers me is that I don't understand how to be in a relationship with him, how to relate to him, so most times I just don't. I would like to think that I do, but the truth is I usually avoid him.
And as humans, we are naturally fearful or skeptical of things or people that we don't understand. It's easier for us to live if we only deal with people just like us. It's easier for us to sleep if we don't challenge ourselves with different ways of thinking.
It wasn't always this way either. I have this memory of a period of time in my life in which I felt sure of things. I remember praying often, enjoying worship, and feeling quite connected to God.
I'm not quite sure what changed, though.
4 comments:
The times I feel closest to God are when I am outside, someplace peaceful and quiet, appreciating the beauty of nature. That is when prayer comes easiest. Is there interaction? I don’t know. I only know He hears me, and loves me unconditionally. I’m unable to completely understand that kind of love, only try to accept it, unafraid.
I think there are different kinds of fear. When it comes to god, I think its healthy to have a bit of fear. The kind you have because you want to impress him and treat others as they should be, and to not dissapoint. Kind of a respectful fear, I guess. Not the "if you dont toe the line for me youre going straight to hell" fear, but the fact that we owe him a bit, and are maybe fearful that we are not making him happy, and he's giving you the look that Dad gave us when we were little and doing something wrong.
As far as experience, or interaction? Not sure.....
Mom- Same here. It's easiest for me to pray or tell God what's on my mind when I am outside, someplace peaceful and quiet. That's the main reason I don't look forward to wintertime. I start to feel confined by the cold and the dark.
I would like to think there is interaction. You said you know that he hears you and loves you, he must have communicated that to you in some way right? I guess I see that as interaction. You're not just praying to the idea of a God, but to a real God that listens. And I feel like our thinking about God and talking to him is a response to him offering us a relationship, and that is interaction.
I need to believe that I can experience and converse with God, otherwise he's not real to me. Otherwise the Bible is just a fictional book with the fictional characters Jesus and God. And that's why I'm feeling uneasy lately. It's been a while since I've felt that God is real and present in my life.
Kevin- That makes sense to me. I like the idea that a bit of fear can be a healthy thing, like showing respect for God. I said in my blahg that I am sometimes scared of or intimidated by God. I feel that I am scared of him for some of the wrong reasons. Maybe the fear I'm experiencing isn't totally a negative thing, but rather it's proof that I'm trying to live my life the right way.
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